The Haiku Handicapper Presented By Brisnet: 2019 Kentucky Derby

by | 05.03.2019 | 9:32am
Tacitus gallops at Churchill Downs ahead of the 2019 Kentucky Derby.

Time to analyze the 2019 Kentucky Derby field, in post position order, in the form of Haiku; a Japanese poem of 17 syllables, in three lines of five, seven, and five.

#1 – War of Will
Honest horse undone
By a wonky Fair Grounds trip
And a lousy draw

#2 – Tax
Ex-claimer makes good
And knows how to run his race
Could offer value

#3 – By My Standards
Upset Fair Grounds win
Vaults him into the deep end
Miler's pedigree

#4 – Gray Magician
SkyMiles in droves
SoCal, Laurel, and Dubai
This stop's not rosy

#5 – Improbable
High-buzz juvenile
Winless in 2019
Time to find his edge

#6 – Vekoma
Could have been the chalk
If he only covered ground
Like a normal horse

#7 – Maximum Security
Ripped through Gulfstream Park
But will it play at Churchill?
Expect a step back

#8 – Tacitus
In the coming weeks
He'll win a Triple Crown race
Soon, we'll see which one

#9 – Plus Que Parfait
Brave run in Dubai
Facing a lackluster field
Doesn't threaten here

#10 – Cutting Humor
Fled to Sunland Park
When he wasn't sharp enough
For a dull Southwest

#13 – Code of Honor
Can't doubt his toughness
But the Derby's tough to win
When trouble finds you

#14 – Win Win Win
He'll be coming late
But not sure he's fast enough
To hit the line first

#15 – Master Fencer
A language lesson
Repeat after me: “Tosu”
“Toss” in Japanese

#16 – Game Winner
He might not win it
But he'll make whoever does
Have to fight for it

#17 – Roadster
TMZ knew first
Now it's time for his close-up
With a new rider

#18 – Long Range Toddy
Hated Oaklawn slop
Rain on the Derby forecast
Doomed by the doppler

#19 – Spinoff
Come Jim Dandy time
He'll be a headline player
This spot would surprise

#20 – Country House
Lost his last two preps
By a half-dozen or more
Can't see that changing

#21 – Bodexpress
Buchanan, Broker's
Tip, and Sir Barton comprise
A club that won't grow

Prediction
Tacitus was bred
To have rose-covered withers
Then sixteen and two

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