Posts Tagged ‘Emperor Phitts’

Once upon a time, there was a rather portly Emperor of a rich but ineffective country called Jockeyclubland. Citizens from all around acquiesced to their dear Emperor Phitts, not because they believed him to be the best ruler, but simply because he was their Emperor. No one dared question the Emperor–not his servants, subjects or the subservient wise men who produced newspapers and magazines about life in the empire. They all knew things were not perfect in Jockeyclubland, but they understood there would be dire consequences if they dared question the Emperor’s rule.

One day, Emperor Phitts welcomed an expert tailor and suit maker who had worked long and hard to deliver a special suit made just for him.

Emperor Phitts nearly exploded with excitement. "I love new suits! Yes, let me see it!" he demanded.

"Well, your majesty, before I show it to you, I want you to know that this suit is a very special one made from the most beautiful cloth. But please know that this cloth is invisible to anyone who is unfit for your esteemed position."

"Let me see it!" exclaimed the Emperor. The unusual tailor pulled out the suit and upon sight, Emperor Phitts panicked. He couldn’t see the suit. But he wasn’t going to hint that he couldn’t see the material and insisted the tailor try the suit on him. He found himself hoping it was made in his size.

"It’s perfect your majesty. Fits you like a dream," the tailor said.

Confused but still unwilling to admit his shortcomings, Emperor Phitts agreed with the unusual tailor. "Yes, I love it!" he feigned. "What is the fabric called if you don’t mind me asking?"

"Why of course your majesty. It’s called bassemer, and TRUST me, you won’t find a better way to cover your assets in all the land. Now I must be leaving. Good day sire.”

Still troubled by his inability to see the fabric, he walked out of his office to show off his new suit. As he made his way down the broad corridor, each citizen of Jockeyclubland stopped and stared.

"Your majesty, your clothes!" cried one of his servants.

"They are beautiful, aren’t they?" As he checked himself in the mirror again, he still didn’t see a suit. "It’s made from the finest cloth called bassemer."

"Well…it is unique," stuttered the servant.

As the Emperor continued through his day, he realized more and more people noticing his suit and their utter shock at how it looked on him. As the citizens passed, they would talk amongst themselves about how he was walking around unclothed, remarking that he must have lost his mind and expressing concern for the future of Jockeyclubland. But each would then go on with their day, none willing to point out the obvious in fear of the Emperor’s wrath.

The Emperor was upset that he couldn’t see his own clothes, though he was at least relieved to know that he was pulling the wool over people’s eyes. That is until a small, independent news organization with more courage than common sense and unable to be controlled by the Emperor stood up and proclaimed, "Hey, look! The Emperor is not wearing any clothes!"

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