GOOD NEWS FRIDAY sponsored by Liberation Farm: WHY I’M HAPPILY NOT AT THE DERBY
By Ray Paulick
The Kentucky Derby always makes me think about my son, Chris, who made his first appearance at Churchill Downs on the first Saturday in May 22 years ago when he was “in utero.” It was the first Kentucky Derby my wife, Carol, and I attended, and she was as game as Winning Colors that beautiful, sun-splashed afternoon, traipsing back and forth with me from the grandstand to the stable area several times while seven months pregnant.
We soaked it all in that day, from the backstretch to the grandstand, holding hands and getting misty-eyed during the playing of “My Old Kentucky Home,” thinking of all we’d left behind in California and all that lay ahead in the new Kentucky home we’d arrived at only a few months earlier.
It’s been a blur since that 1988 Run for the Roses. Chris was born in July and he was joined by a beautiful baby sister, Margaret, four years later. We’ve had a good life, with lots of ups and downs, but I’ve got no complaints. Lucky and blessed, as Nick Zito would say.
I’ve been to every Kentucky Derby since 1988, with the exception of Big Brown’s year, 2008, when I decided to avoid the crowds and see what it was like to watch the big race at home on television.
Chris went to 10 consecutive Derbies, beginning in 1999, when he was just 10 years old. He had his picture taken in the winner’s circle with Bob and Beverly Lewis after Straight Man won a race on the Derby undercard and wished them good luck with Charismatic later that day. “Oh, we’ll need a lot more than luck,” Beverly Lewis told Chris. “They were really nice,” Chris remembered years later. I guess you could say he’s a pretty good judge of character.
He tagged along with his mother or me at first, then worked as an assistant to Eclipse Award winning photographers Tony Leonard and Barbara Livingston for several years. He even snapped a perfect shot of Barbaro crossing the finish line in glorious splendor in 2006, a photograph that serves as a screensaver on my computer. Most recently he’s decided to attend with some of his old high school friends and enjoy the day. Can’t blame him for that.
We’ve had great times together at the track, from Del Mar to Belmont Park, from Tokyo Race Course to Gulfstream Park. When he was eight years old, trainer Bob Baffert threw him up on Silver Charm’s back for a photo op. Some years later, while Chris and I were roaming the Del Mar backstretch, trainer John Shirreffs played photographer and took a picture of us with another Derby winner, Giacomo. 
But our road trip together two years ago across the U.S.A., with stops at Mt. Rushmore, Yellowstone Park and Las Vegas made for some seriously good father-son bonding. It’s a time I’ll always remember.
Neither Chris nor I will be at this year’s Kentucky Derby, and my absence is a happy choice. There’s no place on earth I’d rather be than in Jacksonville, Fla., where our son will be receiving his diploma from Jacksonville University.
This isn’t where Chris wants to be on the first Saturday in May. He’d prefer to be at Churchill Downs on Saturday, rather than attending some formal ceremony under the hot Florida sun. But he has no idea what this means to his father, or especially to his grandfather, a soon to be 92-year-old son of a Lithuanian immigrant who could only dream of college while growing up in the Great Depression.
I was a bit luckier. I made a go of it, attending the University of Florida in the early 1970s, but gave it up after the financial pressures overwhelmed me. I decided after a few years that if I was going to have to work my way through college, why not just go to work and skip the school part. So I did, though it’s one of the great regrets of my life that I never persevered.
So I set out to give my kids an opportunity to achieve something I wasn’t able to. And Chris has fulfilled that dream for me. That’s my good news on this Kentucky Oaks Friday. Thanks for letting me share it with you.
Copyright © 2010, Paulick Report
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Tags: belmont park, churchill downs, Del Mar, Good News Friday, gulfstream park, kentucky derby, liberation farm, My Old Kentucky Home, Paulick Report, Ray Paulick, run for the roses, winning colors
April 30th, 2010 at 9:03 am
This was a great piece to read this Oaks Friday morning, Congrats!
April 30th, 2010 at 9:48 am
Lovely to read Ray. I’m a 40 something year old about to finish up my Associate’s. I too have regretted for years not finishing a degree when I had the chance.
While I believe wholeheartedly in the value of a college degree, and while I’m no history major by any stretch…it seems to me that this country was built upon the backs of all levels of workers w/out college degrees. Our efforts should not be undervalued (as I feel they often are) and we must be taken as seriously as any worker, at any level, with a college degree.
All this being said, I want nothing less than a college degree for my child, and apparently neither do you. Best wishes for a prosperous and bright future Chris Paulick! Congrats.
April 30th, 2010 at 9:50 am
Congrats Ray and Chris! Great piece by Dad. The pride in your son shines through.
April 30th, 2010 at 9:53 am
How lovely! What a day brigtener. You are a lucky man indeed… and your wife and son are fortunate to have you. Congratulations to Chris.
April 30th, 2010 at 10:36 am
You made the right choice, Ray.
Congratulations to Chris!
Frank
April 30th, 2010 at 10:47 am
As Chris’s Grandmother, I am equally as proud. I only wish that my husband and I could be in Florida to witness his graduation. We know he will achieve great success in any future endeavors.
April 30th, 2010 at 10:57 am
Is that Rick Dutrow’s head I see between Jefferson and Lincoln?
April 30th, 2010 at 10:59 am
Congrats Ray (and Chris).
My graduation in two weeks is going to require me to miss the Preakness, still the only jewel I’ve never been to. But this is also the last year I will ever miss a Triple Crown race.
But it also makes me wonder, if my graduation were today, and I had the chance to go to the Kentucky Derby, which would I chose? I might just ditch graduation. But that’s just me.
Congrats again.
April 30th, 2010 at 11:07 am
Ray,
Your story demonstrates, again, it is not the degree, it is the education you receive which is critical to success. One can learn more of value outside a classroom than in it.
Good wishes to you and family .
April 30th, 2010 at 11:07 am
you’ve got your priorities straight, ray.
congrats to you, carol and chris.
i got tears in my eyes reading your moving column this morning.
thank you.
April 30th, 2010 at 11:32 am
Great job as usual, Ray. I always enjoy reading the PR and today’s news is no exception. Congrats to Chris and to you. As a college coach, I have found the most rewarding work helping young people reach graduation, since I struggled for much longer than most to work and go to school at the same time. Growing up in Lou and spending Derby Day in the infield was the biggest holiday of the year for our family. I’ll be watching on the big screen tomorrow. I’ll look for you at the Derby next year.
April 30th, 2010 at 11:43 am
Great piece Ray! Congratulations to you, Chris and Carol. You should be the beaming proud poppa tomorrow. Enjoy the day. I’ll raise a toast to you and your family tomorrow!
April 30th, 2010 at 12:38 pm
It is so refreshing to read something from someone who realty sees the important things in life. Thanks, Ray
April 30th, 2010 at 1:57 pm
Ray I am still trying to clear the mist from my eyes . What an incredibly well written piece.
What a Great and sesitive Father you are. How lucky your son is and how proud to be your son he must be.
On behalf of so many parents out there you articulated a message that so many of us think….but few can deliver.
Thanks for the inspiration…I needed it.
BIG congrats to Chris (and to his Mom and Dad and Grandpa) for such a great achievement !!!
April 30th, 2010 at 2:15 pm
Ray,
Congrats to you and your family! Sounds, like you will have a new screen saver!
April 30th, 2010 at 3:05 pm
I hate everything and even I liked this story.
Congrats, Chris.
April 30th, 2010 at 3:43 pm
Thanks for sharing that with all of us Ray. What a lucky son to have a parents such as yourselves!! Loved the picture included with this article too!! Congrats to your son on his graduation and there will be many more Kentucky Derbys to attend, but only this one graduation!! When my daughter worked on the track she went to the Derby one year and said she couldn’t see a darn thing and never would want to try to watch it again on anything but a T.V. screen!!
April 30th, 2010 at 10:11 pm
Dear Chris, you are a lucky guy to have such a supportive Dad, and my congratulations to you on your graduation, which has of course nothing to do with luck but with all the hard work that you have accomplished. I hope that you will pursue your passion for photography as a hobby or vocation. We need people with your exposure and sensitivity to help us tell the story of the amazing horses who emerge each year. Each one is a beacon in a world without much truth. All my best wishes for your future success.
April 30th, 2010 at 10:15 pm
Very nice piece!
May 1st, 2010 at 6:49 pm
As a mom, this is one of the best Good News Friday I’ve seen and it’s very heartwarming to learn that someone I’ve admired for writing, editing, finding the important news is truly a good and decent, no .. wait, ..outstanding man. Thank you for sharing with us. Congratulations to your son and your whole family!
May 2nd, 2010 at 2:00 pm
Chris, did he ever pay back the $10 he bummed off ya at the ‘93 Derby?
Ray, with the quality of your writing, you’re a walking advertisement for the wisdom of saving $25,000 (+ up) while passing on the chance to prolong (actually, honing) ) one’s immaturity for an additional four years - and getting it done right, anyway.
May 2nd, 2010 at 10:56 pm
Dear Ray,
My dad is an old friend of yours, and big fan…so am I. Reading your piece made me think of some of the best moments I have had with my dad, Jim Lane…and you know what? Most of them also had to do with racing, tracks, and Kentucky…when I was younger, the trips involved heading to Canterbury to see our horses breeze and race when Minnesota first opened the track and when Mike Smith and Donna Barton were first starting their careers… then shifting to KY where I vividly remember father/daughter trips to Northridge Farm and for years going to the Oaks, Derby, meets at Keeneland, Eclipse Awards Dinners, and the fun, fun parties that Kentuckians know how to throw. I loved going with my farther on the farm tours where you could almost feel the ghosts of the greats in the breezeways and walking the acres of beautiful Normandy and Clovelly Farms when my parents lived there while I was in college. Father/Daughter trips will always be some of my best memories and at nearly 40 with my own family, I still long for solitude with my dad be it far away or in my old back yard. I promise, you’ll have MANY, MANY more fun adventures together at the track…and in sloppy conditions and firm ones at that. Hopefully we’ll see you at one of them in the not so distant future! Congratulations to Chris on his commencement and many happy days ahead.
Best regards,
Linda Lane Soper
May 3rd, 2010 at 8:52 am
Ray - Congratulations! What a great story! You have a beautiful family. Tell Carol I said ‘Hi”
May 3rd, 2010 at 1:06 pm
Thanks to all who have commented or emailed about this story. Like me, Chris (a faithful Paulick Report reader) was really touched by all the kind remarks and congratulatory sentiments.
Carol and I had a wonderful time at the graduation ceremony on Saturday (I’ved added a photo to the top of this story) and the three of us topped off a grand day by watching and wagering on the Kentucky Derby at the Orange Park Kennel Club just outside of Jacksonville. None of us had the winner, but we were all happy for Calvin Borel, Todd Pletcher and everyone connected with WinStar Farm, but especially for Bill and Susan Casner. Over lunch at Del Mar a couple of years ago, Bill Casner gave Chris some great insight on life and then later that day invited us to share in the celebration of Well Armed winning the 2008 San Diego Handicap.
It’s people like Bill and Susan Casner, among others, who have inspired Chris to look to the Thoroughbred industry for a potential career.